When i started this blog, I wanted to make it fun and witty (as that's what i feel i am!) You see what i did there? lame. Anyway, there's an issue that has bothered me personally and many others for years and i desperately want to talk about it. It's about alcohol addiction in the family. There are many blogs to help addicts, but this is for people who's life has been affected by someone else's addiction. When you have an addict parent or a relative who affects you personally or lives in the same fraternity, everything becomes very difficult and unmanageable.
Enough about these stats, lets get more personal. When we are growing up, we tend to learn from our surroundings and the people around us. 'Normal' families have financial issues, people fighting over land, a fight between modern and conservative ideologies and so on. But where there is addiction, that becomes the center of all problems. 
All a kid wants, is sober 'grown ups' around and to somehow make the 'adult' quit alcohol. Fights and abuses hurled at each other becomes an everyday routine, all kinds of embarrassing situations at school and otherwise, and the worst part is getting shamed by fellow kids and even teachers who know about the problem. People judge you and try to find 'humor' in the situation. All this leads to behavioral issues at school, depression and drug abuse, failure in class, low scores and an even lower self esteem.
There are some who follow their parents' footsteps and start drinking very early and uncontrollably and some who become complete opposites. The kind of people who desperately want to make up for all the humiliation they faced as kids, and have a point to prove to the world.
Ambition is great, but the reason you want to be successful should be for yourself, and not to prove something in front of anyone because that fight, my friend, will never end. 
All a kid wants, is sober 'grown ups' around and to somehow make the 'adult' quit alcohol. Fights and abuses hurled at each other becomes an everyday routine, all kinds of embarrassing situations at school and otherwise, and the worst part is getting shamed by fellow kids and even teachers who know about the problem. People judge you and try to find 'humor' in the situation. All this leads to behavioral issues at school, depression and drug abuse, failure in class, low scores and an even lower self esteem.
The question is, if you are in a situation where an alcoholic has left a major impact on your life, what do you do? I'll tell you what i did...
While growing up, I used to be pretty weird with people and in social situations and felt abnormal at times, that maybe there was something wrong with me and all kinds of inferiority complexes. I started observing myself and my behavior and why i reacted to certain situations the way i did. But you know what i realized? All that frustration and anger was because of having an addict in the family during childhood. Somebody else's problem was affecting me to a very deep level. As a kid, this can be very harmful for you. It can leave a major impact on you for life.
Solution?
Remember, Being alone makes things worse. Make an effort to make friends and meet more people. The art of socializing can be learned very easily, so that's not a problem. The trick is to remember that nobody is normal. Everybody is fighting some sort of a battle. Yes, when you belong to an addiction prone family, you feel you've faced the worst, but the truth is that almost 85 percent of the families in this world are dysfunctional so you are not so unique.
The first step is to accept that there was a problem in your family and that someone else's drinking wasn't your fault! (because sometimes we tend to blame ourselves for our loved ones' issues) Don't define yourself by where you're from but what you make of life. Then, its very important to keep observing your behavior and boosting your confidence by reading and educating yourself. There's nothing more satisfying than giving a direction to your dreams and working towards your goals. Once that is sorted, you can take initiative to help those in need.
How do you help them?
Dr. Indrajeet Deshmukh (Director, Practical Lifeskills) , world renowned Arts Based Therapist and Hypnotherapist, is someone who has helped many families during tough times.
According to him, this is what children with parents as addicts should do :-
1) Arrange an "Intervention" with the
help of other family members to address the issue.
2) Get professional help.
3) Don't give advice.
4) let them know you want to help them
quit.
5) Join a support group for family members of
addicts.
6) Contact Alcoholic Anonymous ( AA )
It's difficult to send a loved one to a facility, but it's for their own good and it will be worth it when they get sober.
Having said that, if you're like me, (overtly emotional and will do anything for my family and all the dogs in the world.. witty much?)
This can really take a toll on your health and life. Trust issues, blame games, revisiting the past again and again can be common.
But you know what, don't beat yourself up on that. Work on it.. join different classes (whatever you really enjoy doing- music, pottery etc.. i personally feel kick boxing helps as you can imagine whoever you want in front of you ) Keep yourself busy and maybe try meditation. Trust me, it helps. Live in the moment and get over the past.
Most importantly, remember there are weirder people than you ( like I know someone who thinks he is too cool by talking about sex all the time, all his jokes are about sex, he is making some documentary about sex, posts only about sex on social media.. I mean its cool, whatever floats your boat, but he thinks it makes him look intelligent and modern and honestly, its just shady and creepy and makes him look like a frustrated idiot)
Anyway, point being, just relax and don't be hard on yourself. If you can't help the person with the problem, move on and concentrate on your own story. Life is beautiful, and gets over in a jiffy, so please don't waste anymore time and embrace it.
Hope my blog helped you, feel free to tell me what you think and share your views with me.
lots of love, be fabulous, until next time,
Ruhi
*Practical Lifeskills is a facility in Pune which is a great place if you need to rehabilitate someone. Not just addictions, but even issues like depression and stress can be dealt with here.
Working in the field of addiction for the last 8 years. Have started a treatment program on a brain based framework program, which addresses the neurological circuits involved in addiction. They also run a treatment program based on ancient Indian Mind Traditions.
Visit
or call +919766000779 for more information.
